those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
wow bdsm is so cute
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
