AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
