I am spending my child support on dildos
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
