I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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