Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
