just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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