o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
