the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
