I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dick very happy bro
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
