Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Randomize
