Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
