Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
