He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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