Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
