it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
