The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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