You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
