I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am mentally ready for anal.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
