Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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