we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is wine microwaveable?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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