True but thats because hes a fetus.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
