Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
