whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
