why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
why is half of my head shaved?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
