Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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