My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
