I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize