I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
