id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
