guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize