didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
