I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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