No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
