return my video game
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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