Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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