what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
