You really coming over, don't trick.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
