I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
