Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
