his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
