When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
