And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
