Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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