he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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