dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
