Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize