I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
