I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
