Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
bring money and cleavage
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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