i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
