Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
