Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I understand Curling. That high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
