Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
