***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
