is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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