Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
