I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
