So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
