Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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