connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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