hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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