just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
