The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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