i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
