You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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