atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
