i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
