Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize