You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
