Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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